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Follow author Tom Pappalardo on a black coffee tour of cafes, diners, and convenience stores, as he travels the potholed side streets and witch-cursed back roads of Western Massachusetts. Grab a table and sit. Nod and smile at whatever the waitress brings you. Does it taste like a 9-volt battery dipped in old, hot Coke? Good. You re in the right place. . Let this non-travel-guide be your companion as you: Visit cafes overrun with bespectacled and be-bearded white male writers feverishly tweeting their clever observations. Eavesdrop on snippets of conversation perfect for swift and context-free judgment! Seek the approval of old men skulking in diner booths, quizzing you on long-gone local businesses until you admit you re not a real townie. Spiral off on occasional departures from reality. Angrily shake your fist at those consarned millennials with their preferred pronouns and befuddling emoji. Del