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Yeah. .i m absolutely terrified at the implications of what my doctrine and experiences suggest. .it will be painful obedience to publish this entry Because you re afraid it s not real. .And if it is real, you re afraid that you ll sound boastful. . .There it is. as real and raw as i can be. .i m scared. .i m scared of ridicule and rejection. .Hopefully the reader has been following my writings in real time over the last couple years because i fear that to read 2014 and 2015 Notes consecutively will read like a preposterous fabrication now. .i couldn t make this up if i tried. Persons that suffer from Alexithymia typically have few dreams or fantasies due to restricted imaginations . .We re too analytical to be this creative. . The Lord has permitted me to encourage another test of sorts. .A putting out of the fleeces (Jd6:36-38), if you will.